User:Dexter's Mom/sandbox/randomness

Hi there, I guess.

You know what really grinds my gears? When people think that critical reception, commercial success, popularity and/or someone's status as a musical icon are the only things that matter instead of artistic merit, that's what.

The Worst Movies Ever
Disaster Movie (2008): Bonus points in that this movie actually poked fun at and satirized the late Michael Jackson, who died a year later. Can you say nauseating? Baby Geniuses (1999): Not to be confused with Baby Genius, a series of children's direct-to-video films that ran from 1999 to 2010. This, folks, takes the crown for the worst of all the generic family/kids movies that play out and look the same. It is so manufactured. The Hottie and the Nottie (2008): Comic romance at its absolute worst. Saving Christmas (2014): This movie is so scathingly annoying. House of the Dead (2003): Painfully horrible and far from theatrically genuine. This is the very definition of corporate horror. Epic Movie (2007): The few people who actually like this movie call this "art". I'd rather vomit out razors than watch this. Can you honestly even call it "talented"? It's gross, repulsive, despicable and ultimately unoriginal. Radhe (2021): "We need a specialist for this." No, you don't. I know who the specialist is, so shut up. National Lampoon's Pledge This! (2006): If I need to explain why then there is no hope for you. Guardians of the Galaxy (2014): You know what I hate? When people who are into sci-fi action say that they hate Battlefield Earth (2000) but still think this is good. It's the exact same crap, except it's based on the New Guard comics, which are no better. The plot in all the movies, including this one, is the same thing over and over again. No originality to be found, as per usual for a post-Disney buyout Marvel flick. Alone in the Dark (2005): This is to movies what Slipknot is to metal. The plot is by far the stupidest and most nonsensical in movie history. I can't believe Lionsgate actually got behind this. Dragon Ball Evolution (2009): Plain out irritating. Tries as hard as it can to be edgy, but fails. The worst thing to ever happen to the Dragon Ball franchise. Avril Lavigne: My World (2003): No comment. From Justin to Kelly (2003): Come on, you didn't think I forgot about this one, did you? A list like this is incomplete without it. Foodfight! (2012): '''    Sickening!!!!! ''' Lilo and Stitch (2002): Theoretically speaking, I should like this, but something about Lilo and Stitch being a Disney property is migraine-inspiring. Going Overboard (1989): Easily the most annoying movie on the planet, much like Adam Sandler, who stars in it. Turks in Space (2006): This flick is just a joke. Meet the Spartans (2008): My eyes are bleeding. Gigli (2003): Pure garbage that should burn in hell. Date Movie (2006): This is a laughable excuse for a movie. Everyone in it is just too dumb to realize that critics are actually right about it. Daniel the Wizard (2004): Of all the crime comedies in the world, it's got to be the lamest. Violent Night (2022): My explanation is above. Glitter (2001): Stupid, manufactured, deathless, corporate mule-crap made for pop music lovers and brainless, simple-minded couples. Beautiful Disaster (2023): Same as above. The Human Centipede III: Final Sequence (2015): Of all the horror comedies out there, it's the worst of the worst. Scooby-Doo (2002): A representation of everything wrong with horror comedies. The first few Scooby-Doo installments, which were Saturday morning cartoons, were representations of what few interesting things they had to offer; however, this has none of those things. Atrocious music, atrocious humor, unintelligent characters, an unintelligent plot... you get the point. Cosmic Sin (2021): Quite easily the most hated sci-fi movie in history. The Adam Project (2022): And you thought Cosmic Sin was bad... Jaws: The Revenge (1987): So aggravating. The Fallout (2021): More "emo" garbage. Troll 2 (1990): What is it that the trolls are hiding from us? It's not scary at all. They look silly and ridiculous. Not that the first movie is good either... Break Every Chain (2021): The Creed of movies. The plot is so uninspiring. BloodRayne (2005): What a joke. Where the Dead Go to Die (2012) and Slaughter Vomit Dolls (2006): Where artistic merit goes to die. The most pretentious movies I've ever heard of. They're like an amalgamation of every single pretentious "art house" film trope ever: The "found footage" style of the latter to make up for the terrible production quality, the over-the-top violence, the religious imagery, the reversed audio, the jumbled editing, the complete lack of any coherent plot or characters. And for the defenders of either film who say, "They're not supposed to make sense; they're supposed to be open to interpretation and these movies have a point in making no sense," that doesn't matter. These movies are NOT art. Not everything has a meaning. In fact, these movies are a jumbled mess. They're repetitive. Beyond just the fact that they just cycle between brutal violence, gross-out scenes and random dialogue, the latter film reuses footage way too often. Literally. I swear they probably only recorded about 30 minutes of footage and just extended the footage out to 110 minutes by just repeating it over and over. These movies give me the terrible impression that they must be super deep, creative and outside the box. In reality, they're just edgy for the sake of being edgy. Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009): Boring. Hillbilly Elegy (2020): Good-for-nothing, ugly, nasty, smellier-than-cow-manure, hillbilly, redneck trash. Joe Dirt (2001): Same as above. Hobgoblins (1988): Just shoot us all and spare us this crap. Monster House (2006): Another one out of the kiddie-horror crap machine. Jeepers Creepers: Reborn (2022): America actually asked for this? We Have a Ghost (2023): The worst movie this side of Disney's Hocus Pocus. Let It Shine (2012): Cyrus' voice is excruciatingly irritating and he can't rap or rhyme to save his life. Freddy Got Fingered (2001): Disgusting and sickening. Also, Gord sounds like he's constipated. Someone seriously needs to give him some laxatives. Left Behind (2014): The only feeling it inspires in me is depression. Jurassic Fart (1996): Pure toilet/gross-out humor crap. Even worse is that, when the orange T-rex is farting, it's implied that he has loose bowels. It's all garbage. No originality whatsoever. The Cost of Deception (2021): Oh dear, what is this world coming to? 365 Days (2020): This is a movie named after every day of the year with zero days on which it should be watched. Who's Your Caddy? (2007): Even worse than Caddyshack (1980). The fact that Lil Wayne is in it sums it all up. Jack and Jill: The most aggravating movie this side of Dumb and Dumber (1994). The Fault in Our Stars (2014): Too sappy and boring. La La Land (2016): Mia's singing voice melts my ears off. Rollerball (2002): Oh God, it sucks badly. Suburbia (1983): And the media calls it "punk". Generic drama-thriller that should be described as diet-punk, punk-lite. At least it's more "punk" than the other so-called "punk flicks" out there. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964): It's very annoying. After Ever Happy (2022): Overrated. All the Bright Places (2021): Also overrated. The Little Rascals (1994): The ultimate poser flick. Adipurush (2023): What a sad excuse for a movie. Reading a trashy magazine would be better than watching this. The Flock (2007): I hate Avril Lavigne the wannabe rock chick with a burning passion. To make matters worse, she previously appeared in Fast Food Nation (2004) and Over the Hedge (2006). The Trumpet of the Swan (2000): It's way too silly, which means that it's unwatchable. It can't capture any appeal, as it's never magical enough. I've never read the actual story, but this movie adaptation is dull and feels like they tried to make it fit into the "Ugly Duckling" format. The Wild (2006): An embarrassing mess for Disney. They have done absolutely nothing fresh or new for the past 57 years, and this is the most rotten thing that they've done next to Chicken Little. Get this: A family of seven going to see this film and dishing out quite a large chunk of change (only to enjoy no laughs), toilet/gross-out humor, over-detailed animation, a pre-structured Disney plot and a short length. Where is the value in this? Imagine spending nearly $25.00 for this type of rubbish. Well, there are those who will forever perplex me. This film and Chicken Little are disasters from the beginning; they never seem to stop. Chicken Little (2005): When it comes to Chicken Little, you either hate it or you've never seen the movie. It also means that you hate Buck Cluck. Home on the Range (2004): Lame. Atlantis 2: Milo's Return (2003): Also lame. Kermit's Swamp Years (2002): It's a garbage movie for brainless little kids. Clifford's Really Big Movie (2004): An animated adventure about Clifford (posthumously voiced by John Ritter) joining a circus troupe after he mistakenly thinks his owners can't afford his upkeep. The character redesigns are rather off, the story is too far from ambitious, the animation is generic at best, the "real friends are the ones you can count on no matter what" lesson is both trite and in-your-face and all the problems encountered just dissolve away without any effort. Stuart Little 2 (2002): Garbage adventure-comedy for simple-minded children. The first movie is no better. The Smurfs (2011): I hate this movie and its sequel with a burning passion. And what is it with Katy Perry's role as Smurfette? Katy sucks, by the way. A Cinderella Story (2004): Hilary Duff can't act to save her life. White Noise (2022): One of those scary, yet unfunny comedy-dramas. There's no way you can mix horror, drama and comedy. What people who respect art get doesn't taste nice. It never did taste nice before and it never will. Emo the Musical (2016): See The Fallout at #30. How dare you people think that all emos are depressed, hate everything, believe in God and fall in love with Christian girls?! The Adventures of Elmo in Grouchland (1999): Ladies and gentlemen, Sesame Street's decline in quality! Even for family/kids movie standards, this is quite pretentious and suffers from Elmo overload. Madeline (1998): No, the simple-minded children who watched this back in 1998 are not the experts. I remember everyone seeing this film, loving it and begging for it on video. There was no excuse for designing it to be a sweet, (un)funny and simple movie instead of a more challenging one. In fact, there will never be a good excuse. Madeline goes way too far with with really meeting lazy parents' expectations in what they can trust to see with their kids (and what they can't). This is a soccer mom film and nothing more; it's so inoffensive and boring. Bambi II: The Great Prince of the Forest (2006): Terrible. Just terrible. The first movie isn't any better. The Death of Dick Long (2019): It features "With Arms Wide Open" by the infamous Creed, a band that was all but forgotten by 2007. It's also a generic drama that's the same as all the others. Flashdance (1983): Crap. Pure pop crap, much like the equally awful soundtrack. Cry-Baby (1990): 1.) This a Grease rip-off. It's awful when you rip off an already overrated movie, isn't it? 2.) It's extremely forgettable. 3.) Depp is a stereotypical greaser and a frat boy (from a frat boy movie aimed at the masses) with a soft side for Amy Locane. 4.) There's no artistry or depth in either the songs or the characters. Annie (1982): Oh God. It sucks just as badly as the 2014 remake. Dreamgirls (2006): It stars Beyoncé, who is worse than a psychic with caller ID. Even if she can "act", the musical numbers are still annoying. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005): Congratulations for screwing up the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory book! That, and the 1971 movie that tried to adapt it. S****** Room (2011): Jakub Gierszal is just an attention seeker. Not every teenager goes through this crap at one point or another. In fact, they shouldn't act like this when no one asks them the right questions. Lars the Emo Kid (2015): Somebody needs to slap this whiny little, "LIEK T0T4LLY EMO" brat. Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs (2009): This flick belongs in the trash. Hotel Transylvania (2012): What a perfect way to screw up any and all mystical tales about Transylvania while making the region lose its credibility! Wish Dragon (2021): Crap. All manufactured crap. From Sony Pictures Animation of The Emoji Movie (2017) infamy. Frozen (2013) and Frozen II (2019): Corporate garbage for the masses. Sorry, slave for Disney. Titanic (1997): This is the most overrated romantic drama, if not the most overrated movie that has a lot in common with romance, in the world. The original story about the sinking of the Titanic is much better. "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion is also the most annoyingly sappy AC/power ballad in history. Moana (2016): Why does it exist? The Little Mermaid (1989): See Frozen and Frozen II for details. Sing (2016): This movie is pure TRASH!!!!! Coco (2017): Same reason as Sing. WALL-E (2008): Kiddie science fiction at its most irritating. The Lion King (1994): What a laughable heap of garbage. The Sound of Music (1965): Are the musical numbers really what people call "art", and are they why this film gets called same? Well, I call them garbage.
 * Bonus points for featuring a sickeningly sweet, overly cutesy side character named Margalo.